


it's fashion with a gun, my love

by chxrylblossom



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, cheryl is a baby gay in denial, cheryl is an absolute softie, choni, lots of fluff and light angst and eventual smut, mostly au but not entirely, short chapters but there's a lot of them, so here's a fic of choni being soft along with a little angst, toni is just as soft tbh, toni swoops in to steal her heart, veronica is a pretty good best friend too, very slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:07:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 18,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21978577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chxrylblossom/pseuds/chxrylblossom
Summary: cheryl meets toni at the dance.she's standing by the punch bowl with a flask of something that looks suspiciously vodka-like, and after spending the last twenty minutes watching the nauseating couples of riverdale high all but suck face on the dance floor, cheryl can’t help but think she could use some of that. the girl lifts her head in time to catch cheryl staring, and she smiles, eyes sparkling and warm as she does.“want some?” she offers, and cheryl's in no position to say no.orcheryl's always been sure that her destiny is utter, perpetual loneliness. her brother was snatched from her by her sadistic parents, as was heather, the only love she's ever known... and then toni stumbles into her life, out of the blue, unapologetically stealing her heart and changing her life forever, like the princess charming that cheryl never knew she needed.
Relationships: Archie Andrews/Veronica Lodge, Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones, Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz
Comments: 147
Kudos: 348





	1. beaus and belles

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO GUYS. okay so, i have BIG PLANS for this fic. and a LOT pre-written. 
> 
> the chapters are gonna be short, although they do get longer, and there's a ton of them. i'll probably update a couple of times a week, if not more. stay tuned for more. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

In all her seventeen years of life, Cheryl’s never been particularly involved in the 'dating scene'. 

It’s not that she has no intention or desire to find a partner - she does. It’s simply never seemed to be the appropriate time nor place in her life to meet the type of people that she desires. 

Growing up, she could never understand the infatuation that other girls in her school would develop for boys such as Archie Andrews, Reggie Mantle, Moose Mason… Yes, they were perfectly respectable young gentlemen (for the most part) but Cheryl couldn’t even _fathom_ the idea of wanting to kiss them, or wanting to profess her undying love for them, nor any of the other equally as _ridiculous_ things that her female counterparts seemed so eager to do. 

Ultimately, she decided that she just hadn’t met the right boy yet. They were all loathsome and unappealing for the time being, but the tides would change as she got older. 

Eventually she realised that was not the case. 

In fact, she has Heather to thank for that long overdue realisation, and the blossoming of her first young love was the first time she allowed herself to cease the desperate search for shreds of attractiveness within any and every boy she saw. The first time she entertained the idea that _perhaps_ she wasn’t broken, just different, and maybe that was okay. 

Of course, Penelope soon brought that all crashing down. And with her mother’s ruthless shattering of Cheryl’s first love, came the equally as painful destruction of the delicate self confidence and - dare she say - _pride_ that she’d managed to build up, with help from Heather. 

And so, since then, she’s stuck safely to the sidelines. 

She’s often there to lend Veronica or Josie an ear to rant to after a particularly unsavoury date, or to offer a few words of advice in a sticky dating dilemma… but never has she required the favour be returned. Perhaps that will suffice for the time being. 

And as Cheryl peers over the top of her history textbook at the sound of an irritatingly blithe giggle, her eyes settle on Veronica Lodge, seated beside her, who’s looking down at her phone with flushed cheeks and a giddy smile on her lips. It leaves Cheryl with no question whatsoever as to who she’s messaging. It’s pathetic, _really_ , but as Veronica’s friend, Cheryl feels she owes it to her to indulge on at least a little gossiping about her obvious feelings for a certain ginger-haired stallion. 

“So what’s the deal with you and Archie? Is it back on for real, this time?” Cheryl asks, a soft smirk on her face as she folds one leg over the other, adjusting her position on the couch in the student lounge to be able to peer at Veronica with a knowing smile. 

Veronica shifts, a soft blush tainting her cheeks and she lifts her shoulders into a shrug. “Oh, I don’t know, Cheryl. But I mean, I… I think so,” she shares a slightly shy yet elated smile with her friend, eyes flickering down to her phone.

“That’s great, Ronnie! I’m happy for you,” Cheryl smiles, reaching out and squeezing Veronica’s arm gently. It’s a little over enthused, but true. Veronica deserves happiness, and she somehow manages to find that with Archie Andrews - even though the reasoning for that is still at large a mystery to Cheryl. But he’s a good guy, she knows that much, he did save her life after all, breaking his own hand in the process, and she respects him endlessly. 

Smiling a little wider, Veronica leans into Cheryl, slinging a loose arm around her shoulders and squeezing lightly. “What about you? Any potential beaus I should know about?” she asks, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. 

Cheryl breathes a chuckle, shaking her head with a roll of her eyes. There is, as a matter of fact, no one who’s presently piquing her interest. But even if there was, it’s unlikely she’d be able to confide in Veronica about it given that the subject of her affection would undoubtedly be at the feminine end of the gender spectrum. She doesn’t believe Veronica to be homophobic - not by any standards, and in fact, the girl could very well be bicurious or something of the sort herself - but Cheryl’s hesitant to divulge details of her sexuality to _anyone._ Even Jason had never known of her brief, naïve love affair with Heather. 

Grimacing and resting her chin on Veronica’s shoulder, she shakes her head once more. “No one of interest, Ronnie. You’d be the first to know.” Which is probably true, because while Cheryl perhaps isn’t as close to Veronica as Betty is; Veronica is the closest thing to a best friend that she has. 

“No one in this hillbilly town is good enough for you anyway, Bombshell,” Veronica teases, lightheartedly, and it brings the smile back to Cheryl’s face. 

“Maybe you’re right, Lodge.”

Deep down in her not-so-cold nor resilient heart, Cheryl really hopes that she isn’t. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi pls let me know what you think, i love you all <3


	2. one's lonesome, two's company

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again!!!! the positive feedback truly makes my day, thank you, i love you all <3

“… So Veronica’s bringing Archie, Betty’s bringing Jughead, Midge is bringing Moose, Josie’s bringing…” 

Cheryl tunes out once more as Kevin rambles on, focusing her attention on inspecting the deep magenta of her chipped acrylic nails. The subject of dates and significant others always flies high when a dance is looming in the Riverdale High school calendar. And with the ‘Welcome’ dance for the Southside transfers set for just this weekend, as per usual Kevin is orchestrating the event. Cheryl finds herself having to block out his chipper tone for fear of losing control; not wanting to slip and make a snide comment, effectively reverting to her old HBIC ways. 

It’s a touchy topic, sometimes, to say the least. Not only because of her internal battles with accepting her own particular _persuasion_ , but also because it reminds her of just how lonely she is. Yes, she has this group of ‘friends’ (a loose term, considering six months ago, half of them were on her hit list) but a lot of the time, most of them seem to be nothing more than people whom allow her to coexist with them. Veronica and Josie are probably the exceptions, and Cheryl’s grateful for them, but they don’t truly fill her aching void of perpetual loneliness. 

“Cheryl, you should bring a date!” Kevin is saying, and suddenly Cheryl is thrust into the spotlight. At least five pairs of eyes snap over to stare at her, and she groans internally, lifting her gaze slowly, nonchalantly, as if utterly unbothered by the topic of conversation. 

“Me? Oh… no,” she shakes her head, pursing her lips as she looks back down to her nails again, opting herself out of the conversation once more. 

Clearly, she should have known better than to expect that Kevin would leave it there. “No, seriously, Cheryl. Reggie doesn’t have a date, you could go with him!”

Cheryl has to contain a shiver of disgust at the proposition. Her, at a dance, with Reggie Mantle? The giant oaf who seems to be incapable of doing anything but making lewd jokes and providing sarcastic commentaries? She can’t think of a worse way to spend her Friday evening, and therefore the eye roll she gives is… utterly out of her control. 

“I appreciate it, Kevin, but no thank you. Reggie Mantle is not my type,” she states, as classily as she can word it, and she blinks in confusion when Veronica’s eyes widen. 

“Not your type?” The raven-haired girl questions, and Cheryl predicts her next words before they even leave her mouth. “Meaning, that you _have_ a type!” 

Cheryl groans internally, but simply chooses to chuckle in quiet amusement, shaking her head. “Why are you so desperate to matchmake me? I’m perfectly happy being single. Not every woman needs a man,” Cheryl says, and she doesn’t miss the irony of her words. 

_No, you may not need a man, Cheryl - but you certainly need a woman, before you shrivel up and die of loneliness._

Pushing the thought away, Cheryl’s attention is drawn to the strange look Kevin’s giving her. She swallows harshly and averts her eyes, ignoring the bubbling discomfort at the pit of her stomach. “I’ll be attending the dance solo, thank you. Who knows, maybe there will be a handsome Southsider to tickle my fancy?”

Cheryl tries not to cringe at the insinuated masculinity of her own suggestion, and evidently does a good job of it as it seems to placate Veronica for the time being. Maybe all it will take is meeting the right guy - she can’t be too sure of how she identifies just yet, she’s not met all that many chivalrous, kind men who would fall into her personal ‘dateable’ category. 

But… maybe she will. Maybe the opportunity will come in the form of their new transfer students. Even better, a partner from the wrong side of the tracks would do nothing if not irk her mother endlessly. Although if Penelope were to ever hear, she would probably be too preoccupied with weeping in relief that it was a male inamorato rather than a female. So… maybe she’ll meet someone. 

_Like hell you will, Cheryl_. 

But, she turns out not to be too wrong. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's coming :)


	3. gold-gilded masquerade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter three! 
> 
> my twitter is @chxrylblossomx if you want to get updates and see choni related things :)

Cheryl meets Toni at the dance. 

She’s standing by the punch bowl with a flask of something that looks suspiciously vodka-like, and after spending the last twenty minutes watching the nauseating couples of Riverdale High all but suck face on the dance floor, Cheryl can’t help but think she could use some of that. The girl lifts her head in time to catch Cheryl staring, and she smiles, eyes sparkling and warm as she does. 

“Want some?” she offers, and Cheryl’s in no position to say no. 

The pink-haired serpent girl introduces herself as ‘Antoinette Topaz’. Cheryl’s too busy marvelling in the beauty of the name to hear her explain that most people call her Toni. 

She has a bright smile, bright eyes, and a charming charisma that matches. Her hair is a cinnamon brown with locks of neon pink interwoven among it. Before Antoinette Topaz, Cheryl wasn’t a fan of dyed hair, but on her? Cheryl thinks it’s beautiful. 

They spend the evening hidden beneath the bleachers, taking turns sipping from Antoinette’s flask of vodka, and on more than one occasion, Cheryl finds herself thinking about the serpent’s pillowy pink lips. More specifically, what they’d feel like against her own. 

Cheryl finds out that Antoinette (“ _Toni is fine, really._ ”) has an affinity for photography. Her best friends are called Fangs and Sweet Pea (“ _Those aren’t their real names. But I’m sworn to secrecy on that front._ ”). She lives at Sunnyside Trailer Park with her uncle, and is surprised when Cheryl doesn’t stare at her judgmentally at that confession (“ _I don’t know, everyone at this school just seem like the type of people who eat off golden-gilded plates and enjoy ridiculing the poverty stricken in their free time. Maybe you’re different, Bombshell_.”)

Equally, Cheryl shares with Toni that she’s a secret artist, that she has a ghastly prostitute of a mother who she hasn’t seen in nearing on a year, and Veronica’s the closest thing to a best friend she has - because although the rest of the Scooby Gang plus Kevin and Josie are kind acquaintances of hers, she doesn’t really have anything more than a superficial connection with any of them. 

Toni stares at her, eyes heavy with understanding, and reaches up to brush a lock of Cheryl’s hair from her face. “I’m your friend now, Bombshell. Promise,” she says, voice a little slurred from her level of alcohol consumption. 

Cheryl can’t help but smile, an intoxicated giggle slipping through her lips. She tries not to think about how _easy_ it would be to lean in the extra few inches and stain Toni’s pink lips with her Maple Red lipstick. She tries not to think about how it would feel to run her hand through Toni’s pink hair, or to kiss the little dimple at the base of her neck. 

A little bit more alcohol later, and Toni’s hand is at the top of her thigh, dangerously close to bridging unchartered territory, and yet all Cheryl can do is suck in a sharp breath of air and lean back against the wall. She does her best to ignore the burning ball of desire sitting in the pit of her stomach in favour of inspecting her slightly chipped nails. 

Toni’s watching her carefully, Cheryl can almost feel honey brown eyes burning a hole in the side of her face, and Toni leaves her hand there for a few more moments before taking it back into her lap and resuming the conversation as though nothing had happened. 

Toni gives Cheryl her number at the end of the night, and they spend the entire weekend texting. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's my birthday tomorrow!!! out of curiosity how old do y'all think i am??


	4. candid travails

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello :)
> 
> cheryl goes to therapy. enjoy.

Cheryl has her therapist appointments on Sundays. 

They were offered to her through the school, shortly after… Jason’s death, and despite wanting to dismiss the idea off the bat, Cheryl couldn’t stop thinking about it, what it would be  _ like  _ to talk to someone paid to listen to her. At first, she was a little resistant to the idea, and showed up at the little white walled office with the intention of waiting out the duration of the hour long session in utter silence. 

But then “call-me-Carol” started talking, reading Cheryl’s file aloud to her (as if Cheryl didn’t live through every painful moment of it herself) and she was unable to sit with such docility and allow this woman to propagate Cheryl’s entire life story interwoven with utterly _incorrect_ details.

So she began to talk, began to fill in the blanks. She corrected Carol on the technicalities of her life, at first it was the small insignificant things that didn’t hurt to talk about, and through that… somewhere along the line she began to open up and share truths that she didn’t know she needed to. 

She spoke about her parents’ abuse towards her throughout her life, how Jason was the “ _do-no-wrong”_ golden child and she… Cheryl was the disappointment; the loose hinge. She spoke about her confusion when she found out that it was Clifford who murdered Jason, how deep down she wasn’t surprised that her father was capable of such a horror, but she didn’t understand why it had been Jason and not her. She spoke about emancipating herself from Penelope after her attempts at murdering Nana Rose, she spoke about how she _felt_ when Nana Rose passed away, and how it was so much more than she felt when her father died, but much less than when Jason passed. She spoke about Sweetwater River, and her rash suicide attempt and _everything_ … 

Except for Heather. Except for the warm fuzzy feeling that thinking of girls gives her. Except for the quiet nights of clandestine self-indulgence to the thought of girls, and their soft beautiful bodies, instead of men - so  _ rough  _ and  _ unruly _ .

That’s one truth that she’s always had to keep to herself.

This Sunday, however, is different to those prior, as Cheryl enters Carol’s office with a  _ smile _ on her face. She’s absorbed in her phone, occupied with thinking up a witty response to Toni’s playful dig at the Northside. She almost walks into the doorway at a lack of paying attention, and as soon as she catches Carol watching her curiously, Cheryl taps out a response and tucks her phone away in her pocket. Carol smiles at as she settles onto the usual murky green couch, crossing one leg over the other. 

“You seem cheerful. Is there a reason for that?” Carol asks, as her form of greeting, and Cheryl rolls her eyes because  _ of course  _ she can’t be happy without it being found absurd and a fact to be heavily dissected. 

“Is that breaking the rules?” she mutters, folding her hands in her lap and glancing out of the window, through the blinds. It’s a pretty view of Sweetwater River from Carol’s office, a sight that was triggering to her a year or so ago, but now she almost finds comfort in it.

Carol clears her throat and sips her tea noisily, making Cheryl bristle. “Far from it. But it’s unusual, I think you can agree,” she says, and Cheryl wishes that she’d be a little less serious sometimes. 

It’s stressful and  _ irritating _ .

Cheryl spends the next five minutes beating around the bush, evading Carol’s (bordering on) intrusive questions, rambling about whatever nonsense she can think up, but eventually… she blurts out the exact thoughts on her mind. 

“I made a friend on Friday!”

Carol looks surprised, and then pleased, then she’s infuriatingly and all too quickly back to neutral. “That’s great, Cheryl. Where did you meet them?” 

Cheryl sighs, drawing in a sharp breath as her smile returns to her face of its own accord. “Some new students are transferring to Riverdale High. They had a dance to welcome them and she was there.” Cheryl misses out the part about how they got drunk beneath the bleachers together. She also misses out the part about Toni touching her thigh, but as soon as she thinks of it, she can’t stop remembering how it felt. “Her name’s Antoinette… she prefers  _ Toni _ , though. She’s a Southside Serpent.”

“Ah, I see,” Carol purses her lips, falling silent for a few moments as she peers at Cheryl over the frames of her glasses. Cheryl really wishes she wouldn’t do that, she feels like an animal being studied through the glass at a zoo. “And her affiliations with the gang don’t bother you?”

Cheryl exhales shakily and swallows. She  _ knew  _ Carol would bring up the Serpents’ link to Jason’s murder. Perhaps she should have excluded the part about Toni being a Serpent, for her own benefit.

She shakes her head, inspecting her fingernails to avoid looking at Carol. “No. FP Jones, Joaquin DeSantos and my father are the only guilty parties. I’m not going to be a prejudiced asshole to a whole group of people just because  _ two _ bad people made some… deplorable choices. If it worked that way then everyone would hate me because of my parents.”

“That’s a very mature perspective to have,” Carol says, and Cheryl thinks she sounds impressed. Maybe surprised, that would make sense, Cheryl’s aware that she isn’t exactly known for her wise and mature decision-making. 

“It’s just the truth,” Cheryl says, and then she promptly veers the conversation away from Toni, deciding she’s shared enough for today. They spend almost all of the remaining session talking about Carol’s new found passion for gardening. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what u think, mwah<3


	5. cherry red polaroids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i had no time to post this week, but here’s a chapter! :)
> 
> i know some people have been saying they want longer chapters but the whole point of it is sorta that they’re little ‘vignettes’, in a way, and they do get progressively longer as the story goes on so, yeah. ENJOY :)

Cheryl rushes to school on Monday in elation to greet Toni at the school entrance, although she doesn’t let her eagerness show. Toni’s accompanied by two taller Serpents who look to be a  _ lot  _ more intimidating than the girl in question, but Cheryl does her best not to let her hesitation show, either. 

“Morning, Bombshell. Here to give us the grand tour?” Toni asks, voice a little teasing but her smile is soft. The boys on either side of her exchange a glance that Cheryl doesn’t allow herself to question.

Toni’s dressed more casually than Friday, of course, but it’s plain to see that her aesthetic hasn’t changed. A similar combination of flannel, and mesh… It compliments her beautifully. Cheryl’s also glad to see that the pink highlights in her hair were not temporary. 

“ _ Please _ , I stoop not as low as the welcoming committee. I’m simply here to greet you and… ask if you’d like to join me at lunch,” Cheryl states, attempting nonchalance. She grips the straps of her little red backpack and tries not to show that she’s desperately hoping for Toni to say yes. 

Cheryl Blossom isn’t desperate for anything (except, in this case, she  _ is _ ).

The girl in question smiles, warm brown eyes flickering from Cheryl to her two tall friends. “I’m not sure, I usually sit with my crew,” she says, and Cheryl almost wants to roll her eyes at the way the sentence was phrased. She doesn’t, though, because it’s Toni - and she simply smiles, cherry red lips pursing in thought for a second or two. 

“They can sit with us too. You’re friends with Jughead, right?”

And that’s how Cheryl finds herself seated amidst a group of rowdy Southside Serpents at the lunch table. 

It doesn’t really matter though, because Toni’s beside her, chattering away about her photography projects with a wide smile that’s dangerously infectious. So Cheryl ignores the presence of the other leather-clad neanderthals and focuses on the way Toni’s honey brown eyes light up as she smiles.

“What sort of things do you take pictures of?” Cheryl asks, genuinely curious, because Toni’s expression is so alight with passion, and it’s  _ beautiful.  _

She wants to know more about the things that make her so happy.

Toni falls silent for a moment, pondering the question, slurping noisily from her juice box in a way that would infuriate Cheryl if it were anyone else. “Things that catch my attention. Buildings, graffiti - there’s a lot of that on the Southside - sunsets… people,” she pauses her arrayed listing, lips curling upwards. “I’d like to photograph you, sometime. Maybe I’d let you draw me in return.”

Cheryl doesn’t mention the messy sketch of Toni that she currently has stowed away beneath her bed, a brief endeavour on Friday night when she couldn’t get sparkling eyes and appealing lips out of her head. Her eyes flicker to Toni’s lips against her will, and she has to hope the girl didn’t notice. 

“Yes, that sounds good, Toni.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know what you think! <3


	6. the sapphic case of hearsay

Veronica Lodge applies a final dash of nude lip gloss, smacking her lips in the mirror, and turning to face her friend with a mildly scheming smile. Cheryl’s doing much the same with her Maple Red lipstick, eyes squinted in concentration, because perfection is the goal as always. 

“So, be honest. Which Serpent hottie are you hooking up with, because you’ve sat with them everyday at lunch for the last three days, and I assume that an interest in joining a ruffian biker gang is not your motive,” Veronica says, voice so matter of fact that Cheryl’s hand slips in surprise and marks her chin with a blotch of red lipstick. 

Drawing in a sharp breath as she reaches for a paper towel, Cheryl glances in Veronica’s direction with a frown. “None of them,” she says, and it’s true. She may have her clandestine infatuation with Toni, but she’s not about to divulge that information to Veronica Lodge - a perfectly legitimate candidate for gossip of the century. “I’m simply good friends with Toni.”

_ Understatement of the year _ . Cheryl scolds herself at the thought, wetting the paper towel beneath the tap.

Veronica frowns for a moment. “Pink hair?” she asks, and at Cheryl’s nod of clarification as she dabs at her stained chin, Veronica’s cunning smile returns. “Ah, I see. Word is that she was Jughead’s illicit affair during his breakup with Betty.”

Cheryl’s eyes widen. Her Toni Topaz had slept with  _ Jughead Jones _ ? She feels a little nauseous, and a little resentful towards the beanie wearing hobo for defiling her Serpette in such a way. She tries to keep her expression at bay, though, as far as Veronica knows, she’s interested only for the benefit of the gossip mill. “Oh?”

“Mhm, that’s why Betty hates her. But rumour _also_ has it, that she swings both ways,” Veronica says, and Cheryl hears absolutely nothing she says after that. 

_ She swings both ways _ .

Toni likes girls? 

Cheryl’s thoughts are back on Toni’s smile, back on her bright, shiny eyes, back on her pillowy lips, and the very real possibility that she may be able to kiss them. The thought of such is enough to make her cheeks burn and her stomach warm, a guilt-inducing sense of excitement creeping up inside of her.

“Cheryl? I’ve lost you,” Veronica waves a hand afront her face, bringing her back to the moment. Shame floods her at her thoughts almost instantly.

She mutters her excuses and goodbyes before leaving Veronica in the toilets, musing the truths of the grapevine alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof. the chapters get longer soon :)
> 
> let me know what u think it MAKES MY DAY <3


	7. a negligible tryst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii guys. here’s another chapter :)) enjoy!

“Is it true that you slept with Jughead Jones?”

Toni looks across the booth at Cheryl in surprise. The neon red signs from outside light up her face, and Cheryl’s able to see the deliberating twitch of her eyebrow. She sniffs, and then shakes her head, taking a small sip of her chocolate milkshake. “We made out one time, but it was a PG thirteen grope session at most.”

“Oh.” Cheryl’s comforted by that. It might be wrong, as Toni isn’t her property, nor is it really her right to delve into the depths of her dating history, but… Jughead doesn’t deserve Toni. That’s a fact she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt. 

“Who told you that?” Toni asks, but she doesn’t sound worried or concerned, simply curious. In fact, Cheryl thinks she sees the ghost of an amused smile on the serpent’s lips. 

Plucking the cherry from atop her milkshake, Cheryl licks the remnants of cream off it and peers over at Toni. “It seems to be common knowledge,” she responds, not meaning it to sound snarky or slut-shamey, but she thinks it comes off that way a little. Although Toni doesn’t seem to mind, and her lips twitch upward into a definitive smirk. 

“Ah. So I’m part of the rumour mill at Riverdale High - not sure whether I should be honoured or scared.”

Cheryl laughs lightly but doesn’t respond. She pops the cherry into her mouth, tugging it off its stalk. After a moment or two, she swallows, and meets Toni’s eye again. “They also say you like girls.”

Cheryl watches closely as Toni’s smile falters for a second, brow furrowing slightly, hands clasping her milkshake. Her tongue is poking out slightly, probing at her straw, and Cheryl tries not to allow any provocative thoughts to arise, but being an amorous teenager, it’s difficult to maintain control over them. 

Toni takes a sip from her straw, and after a while smirks once more, causing Cheryl to wonder how she’s able to always be quite so composed. “Would that be a problem for you? If that were true?”

_ God, no! I’d kiss you right here if my inner turmoil didn’t always surmount.  _

Cheryl shakes her head. “Of course not.”

Toni seems satisfied with that, because she purses her lips and nods. “I’m bisexual, but more into girls.”

The confidence with which she says such makes Cheryl’s heart clench in envy. Oh, to wear your label quite so proudly… it must be an overwhelming relief. She’s holding out for the day that her mother’s voice, sounding in her head like a possessed canary bird, ceases reminding her how deviant and perverse she is. 

“Very cool,” Cheryl says, and she’s not being sarcastic at all.

Toni smiles, and Cheryl can tell by the shift of her eyes that there’s something more she wants to say. Cheryl drains the rest of her milkshake, holding the straw between her lips as she waits. 

She doesn’t have to wait long.

“What about you?” Toni asks, sitting forward slightly and resting her elbows on the table. She's watching Cheryl very intensely, but the latter is very puzzled for a moment or two, enough so that she answers with a confused, 

“What  _ about  _ me?”

That prompts Toni to chuckle softly, catching her lower lip between her teeth in a way that makes Cheryl’s stomach clench, and causes her to forget the question at hand almost entirely, until Toni releases it and voices her thoughts. “Your sexuality.”

That catches her off guard, and she wonders how she could have been quite so ignorant to Toni’s inquisition. Her stomach suddenly feels a little unsettled, and she can feel her milkshake at the back of her throat once more. Glancing over Toni’s shoulder, her eyes land on Pop, and she stands up more abruptly than she should have because her head spins. “I’d like another milkshake,” she murmurs, grabbing her empty glass off the table and walking over to the counter.

Toni watches, unable to help but smile. And when Cheryl comes back to the table, she opens with her view on Hawaiian pizza, launching a heated debate between the two; as if none of that had ever happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eek hope u enjoyed it <3


	8. procurement quest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! i’m super excited because it starts getting *good* soon, but hope you enjoy it! :)

“Third table, closest to the window, second from the right. He’s kinda hot, don’t you think?” 

Cheryl follows Josie’s directions with her eyes, finding herself staring at Fangs Fogarty, and she snorts softly. “Good luck there, Josie. He’s Toni’s best friend and I happen to know he’s… less inclined towards the fairer sex.”

Josie stares at her blankly.

“He’s bisexual. But primarily attracted to boys,” Cheryl clarifies, rolling her eyes as realisation dawns upon Josie’s face. 

She can’t help but wonder what her friend’s reactions would be if she were to confess her own inclinations to them. Of course Kevin’s acceptance of her is a given, and as far as she knows, none of her friends have a problem with his sexuality… But would it be different for her? Would the Vixens feel as though they had to cover up in the locker room to avoid her ‘predatory gaze’? Would Veronica stop asking for help fastening her bra when she couldn’t reach, for fear of Cheryl reaping some sort of sexual gratification from the act? Would Josie decline the offer for a lavender oil back massage after a particularly hard training session? 

The thoughts all make Cheryl feel a little sick, a lump forming in her throat that she’s unable to budge. 

“What about him?” Josie asks, nudging Cheryl lightly and pointing towards another Serpent seated by Jughead, the action executed with little subtlety, smiling smugly. “Cute, right?”

Cheryl bites back a laugh, simply scoffing and shaking her head. She nibbles at her lemon bar, looking away from the tables of Serpents when she feels her gaze straying to a certain pink-haired Serpette. “He’s not your type, Josie. I’m not sure why we’re playing this game anyway, I thought you had your sights set on Sweet Pea-” Cheryl begins, but is quickly interrupted by Josie who rolls her eyes. 

“Not for me, girl. For you!” Josie says, and Cheryl is suddenly tense again. Because perhaps she can appreciate that yes, he has a nicely chiseled jaw, well-defined cheekbones and nice coloured sandy hair… the idea of kissing him, or even flirting with him? Cheryl has to clench her fists to prevent a shiver from running down her spine. 

The only lips she wants against hers are Toni’s. 

She finds the pink-haired girl amidst the sea of leather, and catches her eye. Toni lifts her hand in a friendly wave, throwing a wink also that prompts Cheryl to chuckle quietly. She smiles in return - not entertaining the idea of a wave because she is not a kindergartener - and rolls her eyes playfully. 

When she finally rips her eyes away from Toni, effectively ending the half-conversation that consisted of Toni making unusual signs with her hands that Cheryl couldn’t decipher, and the latter shaking her head cluelessly, Cheryl finds Josie watching her. Shifting a little uncomfortably, she sips from her bottle of lukewarm water, simply to have something to do. 

“Toni?” Josie questions, tipping her head in the direction that Cheryl had just been looking. 

“Yup,” Cheryl looks down at her nails, wrinkling her nose at the chipped scarlet red and reminding herself to book another manicure appointment for this week. “I think she was trying to ask me to save her a seat in English, but I can’t be sure.”

Cheryl doesn’t lift her head, but she knows the small, thoughtful smile that Josie will be wearing on her lips right now. It’s always the same, pensive expression, lips curled slightly upwards, eyes a little squinted, and brow furrowed just a tiny bit. 

“You two are close, huh?” Josie asks, and peering up at her friend, Cheryl finds that she was right. “Does Toni have a boyfriend?” Josie asks, and while it seems like a weird question, Cheryl realises that she actually doesn’t know much about Toni’s love life. Maybe she has a crush, maybe she has a girlfriend (although it seems likely she would have mentioned that fact by now). The musings make her uncomfortable. 

Cheryl finishes her water just as the bell rings, effectively saving her from answering the question causing her a little too much strife. She gets to her feet, tucking her empty lunch box into her bag. “I have to go to English,” she says, offering a small smile. “Bye, Josie.”

She heads for the exit of the cafeteria without waiting for a response, meeting honey brown eyes once more on her way out. 

Cheryl wonders briefly how long Toni has been watching her for.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey how are you guysss?? tell me about your day and stuff in the comments, or let me know what you think, or ANYTHING. i love hearing from you guys, it’s cool to think that actual people read my stuff :D


	9. ironic panegyrics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i’ve been gone so long! betty’s a bit of an asshole here but it doesn’t reflect how i feel about her, i think she’s an adequate character :) 
> 
> enjoy!

Cheryl invites Toni over for a sleepover on Saturday, and yet as soon as she has, she realises that it’s a _bad_ idea. 

School and after school hangouts at Pop’s are hard enough. Spending time with Toni consists fifty percent of her smiling like a halfwit, and fifty percent of her thinking about how Toni’s lips would feel against her own. One of the only factors that manages to hold her back is the people around them. 

Alone? In private?… Cheryl doesn’t think she would be able to exercise such self control. 

The next day after Vixen’s practice she extends the invite to Veronica and Josie, in effect seeming to invite along Betty. From the get-go she’s not sure about having her cousin in her house, but she doesn’t want to step on any toes, so she leaves it. 

Betty’s never been a close acquaintance of hers, even after the discovery of their shared bloodline, their relationship has always been strained, at best. Cheryl’s always felt as though she’s a little resented by the girl, a fact that perhaps makes sense in the face of her old bitchy ways, however even so… Her cousin was never there in her hour (or perhaps better put, _hours_ ) of need, despite being the Coopers being only family Cheryl has left. 

So to put it nicely, their relationship is not an idyllic one, yet Cheryl pushes her grudge aside to be the bigger person upon this particular occasion.

Inviting them is the best option - she isn’t going to be as strongly compelled to kiss Toni with her friends watching… hopefully. 

“Is there a particular occasion?” Veronica asks upon reception of the invitation, arms crossed, and she looks intrigued. Cheryl doesn’t really understand the question, because what event would there _be_ other than her birthday, which Veronica knows isn’t for another several months?

She shakes her head, “No. Toni will be there, though. So it’s a good opportunity for you to get to know her.” Cheryl pauses, a small smile tugging at her lips as she thinks back to her earlier interaction with Toni. At Cheryl’s prompting, she had begun _considering_ trying out for the Vixens, a fact that had Cheryl jumping in her seat in English and almost earning a detention for the disruption. 

At the reminder, Cheryl adds, “She’s thinking of joining the River Vixens.”

All three girls before her react with a mixture of wide eyes and raised eyebrows, that leave her instantly regretting saying anything. Betty’s shoulders stiffen as she spares her best friend a glance. “A, uh, Southsider on the cheerleading squad?”

Cheryl’s stomach tightens with the premonitions of hot anger and also confusion, clenching her fists a little at her side to keep bubbling emotions at bay. She can see Veronica and Josie shifting a little uneasily.

“Jughead’s a Serpent.”

“Right, but he’s also… basically a Northsider. He’s always been apart of our school, and I just-” Betty cuts herself off, seemingly tuning in on Cheryl’s narrowing eyes and reddening face. “Would she, uh, _really_ fit in? Does it send mixed signals?”

Josie clears her throat uncomfortably. 

Veronica crosses her arms and checks the time.

“What kind of mixed signals?” Cheryl questions, bristling slightly at the stern look Veronica gives her. She knows that none of them want a fight to arise from this, but she won’t allow Betty to trash talk Toni for simply no reason.

Betty hesitates and shakes her head. “I-I’m not sure, it’s just a very Riverdale High thing, and they’re… well, it’s not really their school, you know?”

Glancing between her other two friends, Cheryl’s a little in disbelief that neither of them have anything to add. Either of their words in her support would be greatly appreciated right now, but the both of them are actively avoiding eye contact, body language screaming utmost discomfort. 

“Is this all because she kissed your boyfriend once?” Cheryl asks, before she can stop herself, and she immediately regrets it because although it may be _run of the mill knowledge_ , Toni confirmed such activity to her in confidence, and Cheryl feels a little like she betrayed that. The guilt that sits in her stomach like a brick isn’t something she’s familiar with, nor something that she likes. It only intensifies at the three shocked expressions directed towards her. 

“What the hell, Cheryl?” Betty scoffs, seemingly more than a little outraged at the choice of weaponry, and Cheryl wonders if maybe she crossed a line that she wasn’t aware of. 

So she swallows harshly, sniffing a little and dropping her gaze to her feet. She counts to five in her head, because she knows that works to regulate her emotions no matter what she’s feeling. Wetting her lips, she forces a small smile onto her lips and lifts her head once more. “Toni goes here now. And she’s my friend, so I won’t stand here to discuss the validity of her place at this school. If you’d like to attend my sleepover please let me know by tomorrow.”

She walks out of the gymnasium without sparing her friends nor Cousin Betty another glance. 

She hears Betty mutter something about her being _‘way too uptight_ ’ as the door crashes closed behind her, and she can’t help the hurt that begins to eat away at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you thinkkkk!! love you all <3


	10. conjecture and postulation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello here’s another chapter because i feel bad for not posting last week :)
> 
> enjoy!

Betty doesn’t come to her sleepover. 

Toni, Veronica and Josie do, though, and Cheryl thinks she’ll prefer it this way. 

Veronica arrives first, an hour early in fact, and spends the entire time sitting on the edge of the bathtub, gushing about Archie as Cheryl perfects her makeup in her vanity unit mirror. Cheryl feigns interest as much as she can, because she’s glad Veronica’s happy, she _is_ , but there’s only so much she can endure hearing about how great Archie Andrews is in bed.

And as always, after Veronica rounds off a very graphic description of her and Archie’s… _rendezvous_ last night; the question of Cheryl’s own love life arises. It makes her groan internally and she simply gives a roll of her eyes and a small shake of her head. 

“Nothing to report on that front, Veronica. As usual.”

“I just think we should hook you up with someone, Cher!” Veronica exclaims, jumping up from the edge of the bathtub, eyes alit with immediate elation. “You haven’t had a boyfriend since-” 

There’s a silence that consists of Veronica freezing on the spot as she attempts to cast her mind back to a time when Cheryl was in a relationship. Sighing quietly, the girl in question ducks her head a little and waits for the penny to drop, blotting her lipstick against a sheet of toilet paper. 

“Oh my _god_.”

“There it is,” Cheryl mutters.

“Cher, you’ve never had a boyfriend?” Veronica says, jaw agape as she stares at her friend incredulously. “You- you’ve had your first kiss at least, right?”

Cheryl swallows harshly, suddenly fourteen again: images of bright green eyes, soft brown curls, gentle pink lips, all flickering through her mind. Childish sleepovers, a game of truth or dare gone wrong, Penelope’s face _brandishing_ anger… Her heart aches for Heather, but every fibre of her being _hates_ her mother. 

“Of course I have, Veronica, don’t be absurd.”

The doorbell rings then, and Cheryl’s never been so grateful to literally be _saved by the bell_ . She drops her lipstick onto the side of the sink and makes her way downstairs with Veronica hot on her heels. Cheryl tells herself she’s excited for the sleepover to begin but really she knows the main source of her excitement is seeing Toni. In her _house_ . In her _room_ … Possibly even in her bed. Not in that way, though, of course not.

Toni and Josie are stood on the porch, Toni’s hands wrapped are around a bottle of vodka that she extends to Cheryl with a small grin as soon as their respective greetings have been endowed. Cheryl takes it with an eyebrow arched in surprise and her own chuckle.

“You know what they say, never show up to someone’s house for the first time, empty-handed,” she says as she crosses the threshold, pushing the front door closed behind Josie.

Cheryl didn’t know such etiquette was taught on the Southside, and then she feels bad for making such a classist assumption. “Thank you, TT. This will make for some interesting parlour games.”

Toni looks curious at the nickname, but doesn’t question it and smiles all the same. Cheryl barely catches the look that Veronica and Josie exchange, and she doesn’t think much of it even so. 

The evening runs satisfyingly smoothly. Cheryl makes chicken risotto for dinner, and Veronica helps, while Josie and Toni flick through Jason’s old vinyl collection and lead a discussion about their personal favourite eras of music with a few contributions here and there from Veronica. Cheryl simply listens with a fond smile, knowing from Toni’s music taste alone that she and Jason would’ve gotten along like a house on fire.

After dinner, Cheryl orchestrates a raid on her late father’s liquor cabinet, and they manage to find a few oddly labelled alcoholic beverages to mix with their vodka and several shot glasses that Veronica says will make good for _Never_ _have I ever_. 

She turns out to be right, and they play several rounds of that until they’re all suitably drunk, perhaps Veronica the most but Cheryl’s always been convinced she’s a bit of a lightweight. 

“Never have I ever _cheated_ ,” Josie says, lifting her shot glass with a small nod of her head. “I still vow to loyalty.”

Cheryl’s eyes scan the small circle, landing first on Veronica who shakes her head but takes a shot anyway. Cheryl thinks the purpose of the game is lost on her at this point. “Cheated on a test or a boyfriend? Because, Cheryl over here,” Veronica lifts an accusing finger and points it straight in Cheryl’s direction, prompting her heart to plummet as she predicts Veronica’s next words, “has _never_ had a boyfriend.”

Cheryl drops her head with a groan, but allows herself a glance in Toni’s direction. The serpent is watching her with intrigue rather than judgement and Cheryl takes that to be a good sign. 

“Never?” Toni asks, before swallowing and drumming her fingers against her shot glass. “Well, have you had a girlfriend?” 

Cheryl splutters, heart rate picking up and cheeks burning red. The question had caught her off guard more than anything, and for the second time today her mind goes back to Heather, prompting her to wonder whether she counted as a girlfriend. Even so Cheryl shakes her head fervently, laughing quietly to herself despite her heated cheeks and pounding heart. “I’m straight.”

The lie burns her throat more than the vodka. 

Veronica and Josie are over it before she’s even answered, but Cheryl thinks that maybe she sees a flash of disappointment cross Toni’s face. 

She may be mistaken, but she sort of hopes she’s not. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eek


	11. daedalian truths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! what are all your thoughts on the most recent riverdale episode? i was shocked; i actually thought it was quite good. aside from the blatant lack of choni.
> 
> anyway, enjoy!

Josie passes out first, and Cheryl decides she could have been wrong about who was the most intoxicated, but Veronica follows closely after. 

It’s slightly convenient and simultaneously defeats the purpose of inviting them, because now she’s alone with Toni. The both of them are sitting at the top of her bed in their pyjamas, passing the remaining bottle of tequila between them, Toni hugging one of Cheryl’s silk pillows to her chest. 

Cheryl thinks it feels kind of surreal to have Toni in her bed.

They’re sitting in silence, but it’s not awkward. In fact Cheryl feels a lot more comfortable with Toni than she has with _anyone_ for a long time. She isn’t sure that’s a good thing. 

“Cheryl, are you really straight?” Toni asks after a while of silence, taking a sip from the bottle and passing it back over to Cheryl.

Perhaps it’s the alcohol that’s relaxed her enough so that the worry raised by that question is only a buzz at the back of her mind, or maybe Cheryl just feels more comfortable answering to Toni alone. Either way, she simply bites her lip and shrugs, ducking her head a little. “What makes you think that I’m not?” she asks, genuinely a little curious as she takes a drink from the bottle, able to taste Toni’s vanilla chapstick on the rim.

Toni looks thoughtful, then she smiles. “The way you reacted when I touched your thigh at the dance. I know we were both drunk, but that’s not a straight girl response,” Toni says, and at Cheryl’s slight face fall, she hastens to add, “Not to assume anything, I mean… I’m just asking.”

Cheryl swallows harshly, taking another swig and dropping the now empty bottle onto the bed. She reaches behind her and blindly grabs what happens to be a nearly empty bottle of cheap wine, handing it to Toni. Veronica and Josie really cleared out, it seems. 

“Would you be surprised if I said I wasn’t?”

“Not really.”

Cheryl chuckles quietly, leaning back against her pillows with a quiet sigh as she stares up at the roof of her canopy bed. She’s never once allowed herself to voice the possibility of her _not_ being a fundamentally heteronormative teen. Not to _anyone_. Even with Heather it was all young, naïve and unspoken. 

The possibility of speaking her truth to Toni is _terrifying_ but also at this point in time seems very appealing. She’s not sure if she’ll forget it in the morning. 

“I’m not,” Cheryl says, swallowing harshly, heart pounding against her rib cage as if it’s trying to escape. She takes a deep breath, feeling as though a great pressure has been alleviated from her, although that could just be because she’s lying in an awkward position. “And in answer to you earlier question, I did have a girlfriend once. Kind of, I think. I’m not sure if I can call her that, we were only fourteen.”

Toni’s silent for a few moments, long enough so that Cheryl has to turn her head to look at her, and she finds her staring pensively at the same spot she was, face lit up red from Cheryl’s bedside lights. “Tell me more about her?”

Cheryl sighs quietly, nodding and drumming her fingers lightly against her stomach as she tries to remember all the details of Heather that are tucked away seemingly so deep in her memories. “Her name was Heather. She was my best friend in junior high… we used to have sleepovers every weekend,” Cheryl sighs quietly, catching her lower lip between her teeth to keep herself under control. 

Cheryl Blossom doesn’t lose control, not even in company of the likes of Toni Topaz.

“What happened?” Toni asks, and Cheryl can feel her watching her but she doesn’t turn her head to check.

Sucking a breath of air between her teeth, Cheryl reaches out to take the wine from Toni, gulping down enough to make her throat burn. “My mother caught us kissing,” Cheryl murmurs, unable to stop her eyes from pricking with tears because she’s _never_ uttered these words aloud. “It was the first time, the only time, but she-”

Cheryl cuts herself off, swallowing harshly to rid herself of the lingering burn from her sizeable gulp of wine, and also the heavy lump of emotion in her throat. She feels a warm hand brushing against her own, and she looks up in surprise only to find that Toni is watching her with warm empathetic eyes, lips curled up into a sad smile. 

“You don’t have to tell me, if it’s too hard.”

Shaking her head a little determinedly, Cheryl exhales a shaky sigh. “My mother made her leave. She threatened Heather’s whole _family_ , and said they’d be destroyed if they didn’t leave town which isn’t hard to believe coming from a Blossom, and so… well, they left. One day Heather said goodbye, and I never saw her again.”

Toni’s staring at her still, eyebrows slightly raised as Cheryl rips her gaze away from honey brown eyes. Toni shakes her head slowly, scoffing quietly in disbelief. “Shit, Cheryl, I’m so sorry.”

Surprisingly, the apology doesn’t feel forced or pitying, simply comforting. Cheryl actually feels… maybe a little understood. 

“My mother called me deviant, and perverse, and told me the only love I’ll ever know is _warped_ and _wrong_ ,” Cheryl mutters, Penelope’s face clear as day in her mind as she had spat those words in Cheryl’s face. “I suppose I know now that she’s just a spiteful, homophobic _bitch_ , but it… it hurt me then.”

“It hurts you now too,” Toni murmurs, _finally_ interlacing their fingers carefully, her hand warm and soft in Cheryl’s own. Cheryl feels sparks similar to when Toni touched her thigh at the dance, and she has an deep craving for _more_ that she so desperately wants to fulfil. “What I mean is, I can tell her words still affect you, but Cheryl…”

Toni trails off, and after a few moments Cheryl wonders whether maybe she isn’t planning on continuing, until she feels Toni’s warm hand squeeze her own tightly.

“You have to know your mother’s _wrong_. You’re the furthest thing from deviant or perverse… and liking girls?” Toni wets her lips and swallows, lips twitching into a small smile. “There’s nothing warped about that.”

Cheryl tries her best not to stare at Toni’s lips but it’s an almost impossible feat. They look so soft, so _kissable_. She’s never wanted to kiss someone so badly; not even Heather. 

_All it would take is for you to lean in… just a few inches… come on, Cheryl, just one kiss…_

Toni draws in a sharp breath that brings Cheryl back to the moment with a crash, eyes widening slightly as she realises what she had been about to do. Toni’s watching her lips too, and Cheryl realises that maybe that’s what Toni craves too, but… no, there’s no room for thoughts like that _._ She can’t. Not with Josie and Veronica five feet away from them, and not with Toni, not with a girl… _what would_ _Penelope say-_

She just can’t. 

Cheryl drops back down against her pillow, sliding her hand out of Toni’s. It feels cold and empty as she rolls over, and Cheryl catches Toni’s slightly disheartened expression for a split second. 

It makes her heart ache, but it’s for the best. Toni will realise, soon enough, that she doesn’t want to be involved with Cheryl. She’ll realise that she’s better off not being associated _like that_ with a Blossom. So really, Cheryl’s doing her a favour. 

Or, at least, that’s what she tells herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big gay energy


	12. the green-eyed monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO, i’m really liking riverdale at the moment. not to be controversial but i’m pretty sure barchie are ultimate endgame :O
> 
> enjoy!

Cheryl’s all but stewing in rage from her position at the cafeteria table beside Veronica. Her stomach’s churning in jealousy as she watches the scene unfold just across the room. A growl of indignance rises in her throat at the perfectly manicured hand that falls to rest on Toni’s shoulder, followed shortly by a laugh erupting from both the Serpent and the promiscuous flirt currently manhandling Cheryl’s— well, whatever it is that Toni is to her. 

Cheryl’s utterly  _ fuming _ .

It’s been three days since the sleepover, and operation “ _ Avoid, Ignore and Don’t Even Think About Toni Topaz _ ” isn’t going quite according to plan. 

Cheryl  _ is _ actively avoiding Toni. Not out of any malicious intent, not really, but every time they come close to accidentally crossing paths, Cheryl either turns and dashes the other way or launches herself into conversation with anyone nearby and furiously avoids eye contact with Toni. 

She’s not angry at her, that’s not what it’s about at all. She just can’t allow herself to act on these… feelings, and she’s terrified that she may if she’s alone with Toni again. She’s Cheryl fucking Blossom; what would people say if they found out she has feelings for a  _ girl _ ? She doesn’t know what they’re exact words would be, but she can only imagine that the general consensus would be relatively negative. And the only way Cheryl can stop herself from giving into what she  _ desires _ , is by avoiding Toni altogether.

That doesn’t mean to say it’s easy, though, Cheryl feels terrible. But maybe it will be the best thing in the long run. 

And Cheryl’s been doing a good job of convincing herself of this… Right up until now. Because, what business does that catatonic peasant have even being in Toni’s company, let alone touching her as though they’ve known each other for anything longer than the duration of their ten minute conversation. (Although to Cheryl, observing this interaction couldn’t be anymore painfully long-winded). 

She doesn’t even know this girl’s name, and yet right now she’s concentrating every fibre of her being onto hating her. Her and that outrageously fickle laugh, that  _ hand  _ on Toni’s shoulder, that—

“Cheryl?  _ Cheryl _ , are you even listening to me?” 

Blinking rapidly, Cheryl rips her gaze away from Toni and her doltish companion, eyes landing on Veronica who’s watching her with a furrowed brow. Cheryl forces her train of thoughts away from her feelings of envy and hatred, instead tipping her head slightly and flashing Veronica an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that,” she says simply, lifting a spoonful of her discarded jello to her lips and returning her gaze to Veronica with as much feigned interest as she can muster. 

Veronica huffs and rolls her eyes, sipping from her bottle of water as her eyes flicker across the cafeteria. “I  _ said _ , what even happened with Toni anyway? You’ve been avoiding her like the black plague - I thought you two were besties now, or something.”

Doing her best not to wince, Cheryl gives a nonchalant shrug, flicking her hair over her shoulder as she does so. “Nothing happened, Ronnie,” she says, swallowing another spoonful of jello and giving Veronica a tight smile that she hopes suitably conceals her inner turmoil. “Besides, you’re my ‘ _ bestie _ ’.”

“Yeah, duh,” Veronica grins, a chuckle escaping her lips, and from there the conversation somehow becomes somewhat of a one-sided discussion revolving around Betty and Jughead’s latest Nancy Drew worthy investigation that Cheryl  _ honestly  _ couldn’t care less about. A topic that could only be made more boring if Cousin Betty and her hobo-esque boyfriend were here to explain it themselves. 

Cheryl tunes out once more, sometime after the mention of a bobby pin and a locked car, gaze drifting over to the Serpents’ tables, despite her best efforts to stop herself. 

It doesn’t take her long to find pink hair among the sea of black leather, and— thank  _ god  _ the ghastly peasant is gone from Toni’s side. Cheryl knows the possessive jealousy was wrong, but she had been powerless to its vice-like hold on her. 

She’s not sure what it is about Toni, but…  _ she’s _ not willing to share her. 

Cheryl thinks that perhaps that would make a mildly valid argument were she even on speaking terms with her.

But she’s not. And she has to deal with that, because Cheryl Blossom does  _ not  _ affiliate herself with pretty girls whom she has a very grave, very imminent possibility of kissing. Not if she can help it. 

It’s then that she happens to accidentally meet a pair of warm honey brown eyes, that are now staring right back at her with equal intrigue to that of which Cheryl’s regarding her with. Cheryl’s heart stops for a second, and she wets her lips a little anxiously, eyes shifting over Toni’s face and yet… she can’t bring herself to look away from her. 

Eye contact is held for a few moments longer before Toni’s lips curl up into a smirk and she  _ winks.  _ She fucking  _ winks _ , and Cheryl feels her cheeks burning red almost instantly, prompting her to tear her gaze away from the girl in question with a quiet huff of irritation and… something else that she can’t quite identify. 

_ Goddamn Toni Topaz and her smug little smirk, her little  _ **_wink_ ** _ , what on earth was that wink supposed to mean? God, so fucking— _

“Cheryl! Did you hear any of what I just said?”

Inhaling sharply, Cheryl forces a smile onto her lips once more and nods her head. Turning to face Veronica, she swallows harshly and ignores the feeling of two eyes burning holes in the side of her face. She’s not going to play Toni’s games, no, there’s too much at stake. 

“Yes, of course I did. Do continue.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know ur thoughts <3 kudos and comments are highly appreciated 🥺


	13. tête à tête

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! sorry it’s later than usual, i’ve had a busy day/week
> 
> this is a relatively long one even so :)
> 
> enjoy!

Mesmerised. 

That’s the most accurate term that Cheryl can think of to describe exactly how she feels now, watching Toni’s initiation dance. She’s sitting one leg folded over the other in her chair with Veronica beside her, and all the other Vixens lined up behind them. And she’s thankful for that because, god, if they saw her  _ face  _ right now - Cheryl’s pretty sure she could be drooling. 

Why had Toni not mentioned being an incredible dancer? 

“She’s really good, Cheryl,” Veronica whispers, and Cheryl nods fervently in agreement but remains silent, all attention focused upon Toni and her perfectly executed routine, the way she moves,  _ fuck… _

Her technique isn’t perfect, but that just requires a little refining. She has the talent, the natural ability, and to be quite honest it’s driving Cheryl fucking insane right now. She’s doing her best to keep her attention off of the expanse of her toned abdomen that’s exposed by her tied up shirt, but it’s easier said than done. 

The stretch of tan skin that’s shiny with a thin sheen of sweat from the excursion of the routine… God, her ass, her thighs, her entire fucking  _ body _ … Cheryl feels as though for the first time in her life she’s living up to the societal stereotypes of a ‘horny teenager’, and she’s powerless against it. 

“Incredible,” Cheryl mutters as Toni finally slows to a halt, striking a pose moments before the entirety of the Vixens erupt into an enthusiastic round of applause. 

Everyone seems to be impressed; Betty included. 

Despite their current differences (if that’s even a fair way to say it) Cheryl draws in a sharp breath and rises to her feet with an authoritative clap of her hands that silence the Vixens near instantly. She may have her motives for avoiding Toni, but first and foremost she’s Captain of the River Vixens, and Cheryl Blossom is nothing if not professional. 

“I think we can all agree that was an impressive performance on any standard,” she says, clasping her hands together as she sweeps her gaze over the line of girls to ensure that the general consensus is one of agreement. 

“Absolutely. Toni you blew us all away,” Veronica says, grinning across at the Serpent who flashes Veronica a wink and accompanies it by blowing a playful kiss. At the seemingly harmless gesture, however, Cheryl feels a flash of that green-eyed monster rising up within her again. Of course it’s irrational, but… jealousy knows no logic, something that’s becoming more and more apparent to her now as the irritation towards Veronica claws at her gut. 

Cheryl suppresses the inappropriate territorial growl that she wants to release, simply shifting a little and clapping her hands once more to draw the attention back to herself. “Well then, without further ado… Welcome to the River Vixens, Toni!” 

Toni looks over at her, seemingly surprised, which Cheryl doesn’t quite understand because she has an obvious abundance of talent.

“Seriously, just like that?” Toni asks, honey brown eyes sparkling with something akin to  _ excitement _ , and that warm smile that Cheryl’s grown so accustomed to seeing on her face, prompts Cheryl’s own lips to quirk up into a small smile against her will. 

“Just like that,” she echoes, allowing herself several moments longer to simply smile and gaze wistfully at Toni, before she spins on her heel to address the remaining body of Vixens. “Well… There’s no way you amateurs are going to top that, so, practice is over.”

The Vixens disperse relatively quickly, and Cheryl knows it’s partially accountable to their fear of disobeying her, and also to hit the showers after the gruelling workout she’d put them through before Toni’s tryout. She prefers to wait until she gets home, usually, affording her a little more luxury timewise, and so she hangs back a little and heads over to the bleachers to grab her water bottle. 

“Hey.”

Cheryl almost snorts her water out of her nose at the feel of hand on her shoulder. Turning around, she’s not all too surprised to see Toni stood behind her with a smirk, arms now folded across her chest. Cheryl feels a pang of irritation at being startled, but also a flash of something else that tugs at the pit of her stomach as she briefly traces Toni’s body with her eyes. 

“How was I?” Toni asks, drawing Cheryl’s attention back up to her face and  _ god  _ that stupid smirk is still on her lips. 

Inhaling sharply and taking a sip of water, Cheryl gives a nonchalant nod of her head. “I told you, your performance was very impressive. That’s why you made the team.”

“You looked a little more than impressed back there,” Toni quips, and Cheryl’s stomach sinks with guilt at the remark.

There’s that horrible feeling of shameful _wanting_ rising inside her again that makes her stomach churn in disgust at herself, making her want to hang her head in embarrassment at the nature of her thoughts. Because Toni’s _right_ , of course she is, Cheryl felt nothing but unadulterated desire throughout the duration of Toni’s routine, and even now she can’t stop looking and thinking about her in ways that Penelope Blossom would no doubt dub perverse and unacceptably _deviant._

“Cheryl, I didn’t mean it like that,” Toni says softly, seemingly becoming aware of the impact of her words. There’s a pause of a moment or two, in which Cheryl shifts her gaze back to Toni’s face, pursing her lips in a thin line. 

“What I  _ mean  _ to say, is that… I understand why you’re avoiding me, and I don’t blame you, I know you must be scared,” Toni begins.

Drawing in a sharp breath, Cheryl shakes her head, about to interject with a remark about how she’s  _ not  _ scared, but she doesn’t have the chance because Toni’s continuing and she can’t bring herself to interrupt her. 

“I’m the first person you’ve come out to, I understand that’s a lot and it’s daunting… But, Cheryl, this isn’t something you want to do alone.” Despite Toni’s hushed tone, Cheryl’s paranoia prompts her to check the gym once more to ensure that no stragglers are eavesdropping on their conversation. 

She’s relieved to find them alone. 

But shortly after that relief follows the return of the guilt-ridden anxiety because  _ she’s alone with Toni  _ \- the sole situation she’s been doing her best to avoid for the last five days. 

Although… she’s not exactly sure anymore why she’s been avoiding her. Not exactly sure what would be so bad about just giving in—

_ No, Cheryl, don’t think like that. You know it’s  _ **_wrong_ ** .

“Toni, I…” she swallows thickly, trying to formulate a sentence in her brain before she can spit out something that makes no sense. It’s hard though, without saying something to potentially oust whatever these feelings are that she has for Toni. “I’m just not sure that it’s a good idea for us to spend anymore time together.”

Toni’s eyebrows shoot up and her arms tighten a little over her chest, posture stiffening. “Okay… and why is that?” she asks, voice surprisingly calm given the circumstances. 

Drawing in a sharp breath, Cheryl does her best to regulate the rising feelings of unease brewing within her. “I can’t say, I just-”

“So let me get this straight - you don’t want us to be friends anymore, but you can’t tell me why?” Toni asks, stating it all so matter-of-factly, in a tone that makes Cheryl feel like the village idiot. 

Cheryl groans quietly, shaking her head. “Toni, it’s not like that, I-”

Once again, Toni interrupts her, brow furrowed, hand extended to silence her. “No, Cheryl, it’s exactly like that. I get that you’re struggling - you have to remember I’ve  _ been  _ where you are. And I know exactly how dangerous it is to push away the people that are just trying to help you, and I’m not going to let you do that. I’m not just gonna drop off because you’ve decided to give me a petty little dose of the cold shoulder.” Toni gives a nod of utmost finality that Cheryl doesn’t think she could question if she tried. She’s not sure whether she should be insulted by Toni’s insinuation of her being petty, but she decides to let it slide. “So, I’m sorry, but you’re stuck with me, Bombshell.”

And despite the fact that every morsel of Penelope Blossom within her is screaming in protest, Cheryl finds herself nodding taciturnly in agreement because… 

_ God _ , could anyone really say no to Toni Topaz?

“Stuck with you… okay.” 


	14. retrospective nostalgia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i forgot to update! with everything going on i’ve been a little distracted. but now school is closed and exams are cancelled... i guess there’s not a lot to do but write.
> 
> i hope that each and every one of you and your family/friends are doing well (both mentally, and physically). all my love and thoughts are with everyone suffering. however this is probably the first and last i’ll speak of the current situation as i like my writing to be a form of escapism; rather than a reminder of such unavoidable yet sad things. i love you all.
> 
> on that note, enjoy some choni :)

“What _kind_ of dance was it, though?”

“Like kind of… dancing with a, _uh,_ pole? Um-” Toni begins, and for the first time since Cheryl has known her, Toni’s cheeks blush a light red. 

Her words prompt Cheryl’s eyebrows to shoot up, a gasp escaping her lips before she can help herself. “A _pole_ dance, Toni? Seriously?” she asks, swallowing her surprise as Toni huffs in agitation.

Toni groans quietly, shaking her head a little. “It’s Serpent tradition. It’s outdated and sexist and I’ve been trying to get it outlawed for ages, but… misogyny dies hard,” Toni huffs, but gives Cheryl a small smile over the top of her milkshake. “It was a relatively good performance for an incipient teen, and after that I begged my mom to let me take a few dance classes. Turns out I’m a natural.”

“That you are,” Cheryl says, words entirely truthful despite following the remark with a soft laugh. Toni is truly a talented dancer, and even in her previous mindset of wanting to abolish all friendly thoughts towards the serpent, she knew she’d be a fool not to let her join the cheerleading squad. 

Toni gives her an unassuming smile, shaking her head a little but Cheryl can tell she’s suitably pleased at the remark. 

“You mentioned your mom,” Cheryl states after a little silence, mostly as a prompt, because that’s the first time Toni’s spoken of either of her parents and knowing that she lives with her uncle, Cheryl can’t deny her budding curiosity. She won’t push it though, if Toni’s reluctant to talk about it then Cheryl’s the master of smoothly changing topics. 

Dropping her gaze to her chocolate milkshake, Toni gives a slow nod, honey brown eyes sparkling. “I guess I did,” she muses, moving the paper straw around the glass thoughtfully, and Cheryl can practically hear her ruminations. “She died just after I turned fourteen. So did my dad.”

The admission comes as a surprise, because Cheryl had been expecting perhaps a messy divorce, a fleeing parent, or conceivably even jail (not an assumption based off of any classist misconceptions, though, given that Cheryl’s own father was well on his way there himself). In addition to that, Cheryl doesn’t know of anyone else her age who’s lost a parent (not that it was a great deprivation on her part) let alone _two_ , and so she’s a little dumbfounded. 

“Oh.”

Toni shrugs in a way that could appear to be a little indifferent at first glance, but Cheryl knows better than that. She reaches over to place her hand atop Toni’s, fingers brushing against her knuckles comfortingly. 

“I’m so sorry that you had to go through that, Toni,” Cheryl says, eyes shining with sincerity.

Cheryl feels a sadness in her heart at the thought of all the pain that little Toni Topaz must have experienced in her life. She’s such a good person, such a _kind_ person, and Cheryl doesn’t understand why the universe would want her to suffer. She doesn’t understand what a fourteen year old little girl could have possibly done to warrant losing both her parents. It doesn’t make any sense. 

Toni lifts her head, a just present smile on her pillowy pink lips that grows slightly as her eyes meet Cheryl’s. “It’s not your fault,” she murmurs, interlacing her fingers with Cheryl’s as she sips from her milkshake. “It’s just one of those things.”

Cheryl inhales softly, eyes falling to their adjoined hands, a warmth present in her stomach again that she can’t decipher (nor does she want to).

“Maybe, but I’m still sorry it happened to you, TT.”

Toni’s gaze softens, and she nods, squeezing Cheryl’s hand lightly as they fall into a comfortable silence once more. Vaguely listening to the subdued chatter of the diners around them, and every now and then glancing across the expressions of content on one another’s faces, is enough to satisfy the both of them for now.

Because being in Toni’s company is perhaps the most content, _relaxed_ , that Cheryl’s felt in her entire life. 

And she’s not sure anymore why she ever thought she’d be able to give that up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: it’s come to my attention that the way i wrote toni’s admission at the start of the chapter may have made it seem as though it was taken too lightly. that was NOT my intention. i see it as what it is: toni admitting that, in one way or another, she was violated and exposed in her childhood through her affiliations with the serpents. 
> 
> i won’t apologise for my decision to make this a part of her story, but i will apologise if this was taken the wrong way. i do NOT condone the exposure of children, in any way, shape or form. i have personal experience in situations such as that, and i did not want to sugarcoat the harsh reality of gangs. as much as toni may see the serpents as “family”, they ARE. A. GANG. i don’t want to warp the admittedly painful truths of reality. 
> 
> i believe that toni’s reluctance to admit it was wrong is a reflection of her denial about the happenings of her childhood (especially with a group of people she thought of as “family”) and cheryl’s reaction displayed her clear shock, but her lack of outrage was perhaps simply because, taken at face value, it’s easy not to see that event as what it was for toni: traumatic and wrong. arguably neither of them can truly see that.
> 
> i also believe that, while shocking and awful: it makes sense on toni’s timeline that she was young when it happened. especially within my story. 
> 
> bad things happen in gangs; a fact that i believe riverdale is far too eager to overlook. 
> 
> again, i apologise if this was taken in the wrong way, and i hope you can see it for what it is: a traumatic memory and revelation from toni’s backstory.


	15. textbook denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiya! hope you’re all doing well!! this riverdale hiatus sucks :/
> 
> anyways, enjoy!

“Cheryl, there’s a question that I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

Peering up from the pattern she had been tracing on the carpet with her eyes, Cheryl wets her lips and nods once at Carol. She’s wearing a relatively serious expression, but she usually is, and so it’s not enough to arouse any worry. That is until,

“Is it possible that the feelings you have towards Toni are more than platonic - romantic, perhaps?”

Cheryl feels her heart fucking  _ stop _ . 

It literally  _ stops _ , her palms becoming slick with sweat, blood rushing in her ears. 

How does she answer that? How  _ can  _ she? Should she admit to the deviant thoughts that plague her, the unstoppable desires involving Toni? Would Carol be able to help her make them stop? Help her become the daughter that Penelope Blossom would have wept with pride over?

_ No,  _ no… 

Surely she would just think of her as a pervert, label her a shameful slut and banish Cheryl from her office forever. No one could understand, she’s certain of it.

Swallowing thickly, as best as she can, Cheryl wipes her hands against her thighs, a nervous huff escaping her lips as she shifts her head in denial. “W- _ what  _ would make you think that?” she asks, outrage potent in her tone.

Seemingly unperturbed by Cheryl’s fervent response, the therapist peers over the frames of her glasses, a hum of contemplation leaving her tightly pursed lips. “It was an observation, that’s all,” she states, planely, and Cheryl thinks that she might as well be beneath a microscope in a laboratory with how closely she’s being scrutinised. 

“Well, not a very good one,” Cheryl snaps shortly, sitting back against the couch and once more folding her right leg over her left. 

Carol falls silent for a few more moments, but from her pensive expression, Cheryl knows she’s far from done, and the thought causes her heart to hammer in panic, chest constricting with each shallow breath. She can feel Carol’s eyes boring holes into the side of her face and she wants desperately to jump to her feet and storm out of the office, petulantly slamming the door in her wake… the atmosphere in this room is now  _ unbearable.  _

_ You’re a Blossom, you have more savoir faire than that. Keep it together, Cheryl. _

“Are you sure about that, Cheryl?” she asks, each word ringing out loudly like Sunday morning church bells in the tiny little office, and Cheryl winces. “This is a safe space, it’s perfectly okay to be honest with me.”

Peering through the lenses perched at the tip of her nose, Carol scrutinises Cheryl a little closer, and it’s perhaps the most patronised Cheryl’s ever felt. She’s lightly drumming her biro pen against the notebook that she uses to write about Cheryl inside, and it’s an action that’s growing increasingly agitating. 

Sucking in a breath that trembles more than it should, Cheryl narrows her eyes and nods her head. “Yes, I’m  _ sure _ . I think I-” she cuts herself off, swallowing the lump of emotion in her throat, “I think I’d know if I were crushing on my best friend, thank you very much.”

Carol hesitates, and in that time Cheryl glances up to the clock that hangs on the wall above the door. A pang of relief jolts her whole body at the sight of the minute hand hovering over the twelve. 

_ Time’s up.  _

“I simply think-”

Grabbing her red backpack from her feet, Cheryl rises up from the crinkly couch and slings the bag over her shoulder; her sudden actions silencing Carol once more. She wets her lips and nods her head once at her therapist. 

“Thank you, but time is unfortunately up,” Cheryl says, feeling as though  _ she’s  _ the therapist, rather than the other way round. ”See you next week.”

She’s over at the door before anymore words are able to be uttered, slamming it closed behind her and effectively drowning out any semblance of a farewell that may have been thrown her way. Cheryl hastens to make her break from the building and in the process receives an odd look from the receptionist, whose name she should know by now but doesn’t. 

As she frantically jabs at the elevator button, the urgent ding for ‘ground floor’ sounding out through the empty box of a room, Cheryl has one thought. And that thought is how damn good she’s getting at running away. 

And also how… she’s not sure exactly how much longer she can run for. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooh get ready bois


	16. vermilion red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you’re all well. if anyone ever needs to talk or anything, my twitter DMs are always open (@/chxrylblossomx)... enjoy!

“Which do you think, TT?” Cheryl hums softly, tipping her head to the side and squinting her eyes as she inspects the row of nail varnish vials, each containing a similar yet utterly _different_ shade of red. 

Cheryl can’t quite figure out which would do best for Veronica’s party. 

There’s the Imperial red which works the best with her silver clutch, but clashes with her _Vermilion_ red stilettos… Then the Persian that compliments the red studs in her necklace but once again clashes with the stupid heels… So maybe she should just wear different shoes, perhaps the Mahogany red—

“They… all look the same to me,” Toni states, eventually, startling Cheryl out of her state of deep concentration. 

Toni’s currently lounging across the expanse of Cheryl’s double bed in her outfit for the evening; a pair of high-waisted cargo pants and a tight black tank top with a lowcut neckline that teases just enough cleavage. It isn’t anything extravagant, and in fact if it had been anyone else wearing the said outfit to an occasion as fancy as Veronica Lodge’s eighteenth birthday bash, Cheryl may disapprove. 

But it’s _Toni_.

Pretty little Toni Topaz, and Cheryl is certain she could pull off a trash bag better than a Victoria’s Secret model. 

Plus, ever since the sleepover Veronica seems to have developed a borderline jealousy-inducing infatuation with Toni, so Cheryl doesn’t think the girl would bat an eye if Toni really _did_ turn up in a trash bag. 

“No, TT… They’re most definitely not all the same,” Cheryl tuts disapprovingly, but is unable to keep her expression sombre for longer than a few moments. “I can explain why, or you could simply just pick your favourite with this dress. I’ll pick out my shoes accordingly.”

Huffing melodramatically, Toni heaves herself up off the bed and shuffles over to the vanity unit, dropping to her knees beside Cheryl. She squints as she inspects them closely for a few moments, before she groans in loud protest. “Cher, does it really matter? Why don’t you just cut them? That way you’ll have a chance at getting laid tonight.”

It takes Cheryl a second to comprehend the meaning behind what Toni had said, but as soon as she does, she splutters in surprise, eyes flying wide. “I am _not_ looking to get laid tonight, thank you very much.” Cheryl can feel the blood rushing to her face, cheeks tingling and hot as she forces her gaze away from Toni who’s closely inspecting a tube of Persian red.

Her embarrassment doesn’t seem to register with Toni, though, because she continues obliviously. 

“Okay, or anytime in the foreseeable future. No girl is gonna let you between her legs with those claws. Trust me, it _hurts_. One time I—”

“ _Toni_!”

Blinking in surprise, Toni tears her attention away from the little vials of red nail polish, looking up at Cheryl with wide eyes. Upon taking in the flush that extends all the way down to her chest, an explosive bout of laughter leaves her lips. 

“I’m sorry, too far?” she asks, but doesn’t stop laughing, her own cheeks flushing with the intensity of her laughter. “You’re gonna find out sooner or later though, right?”

Cheryl swallows, brow furrowing dubiously. She hasn’t spared a thought for what to do, past telling Toni. She knows that whatever she feels for the pink-haired Serpent is most likely unreciprocated, and unless she plans on remaining a closeted lesbian for the rest of her life, then telling people whom she’s close to about her sexuality sounds like the next reasonable step one would take. 

That seems far too daunting, though, and she immediately shuts off that train of thought. 

“Dunno. Maybe I’ll be the first of my kind on ‘ _My Life As A Forty Year Old Virgin_ ,” Cheryl responds simply, huffing out a dry chuckle. 

Toni’s eyebrows shoot up, and she seems to have missed the joke a little. “‘Of your kind’?” she questions, “Beautiful, funny and intelligent, you mean?” Toni asks, but they both know that wasn’t what Cheryl had meant. 

Bristling a little, Cheryl shakes her head. Toni knows what she meant, why does she have to push it?

“No, you know, a…”

“A lesbian?”

Cheryl cringes, but wishes she hadn’t when she sees the look of concern that overtakes Toni’s features. Her eyebrows furrow, warm honey eyes softening, lips pursing into a tight sympathetic line. She reaches out to clasp one of Cheryl’s hands between both of her own, squeezing tightly and making her ring dig into Cheryl’s palm. 

Cheryl can feel her hands begin to sweat at the touch. 

“You’re really struggling with that, huh?” Toni asks after a few moments, and Cheryl thinks that perhaps she should feel patronised by the sentence’s wording, but she finds herself nodding dumbly instead. 

Toni sighs, a distant worry and simultaneous understanding swimming in light brown orbs. “It’s hard,” she mutters, and Cheryl can instantly tell that she’s drawing from her own experience, by the face of pensive recollection that she adapts. “It’s really hard, especially if you haven’t had good, accepting people in your life.”

Cheryl swallows thickly, nodding once more, in agreement this time. “Does it get easier?”

“Yeah,” Toni answers without hesitation. “As soon as you start to accept yourself. But until then, it’s going to be hard - and no one else can do that bit for you.”

“I know.” A deep breath. “What was it like for you?”

Toni falls quiet for a few moments, and Cheryl briefly worries that she’s overstepped. But then Toni shifts backwards until she’s sitting on the floor, leaning back and resting her weight on her hands. “My uncle didn’t like it, the fact that I like girls. He wasn’t… _super_ opposed to it or anything, but it made him angry whenever he caught me _‘with’_ a girl. Which, in a tiny two bedroom trailer, is about as often as you’d expect,” Toni follows her comment with a small wry chuckle that Cheryl thinks could be a defence mechanism.

“He’s mellowed out over the years, though. Well, it’s either that or the alcohol and drugs have rotted his brain away so much that he’s unable to care anymore,” Toni says, and Cheryl’s stomach lurches horribly in empathy for her. 

“God, Toni, I—”

Toni interjects with a small shake of her head. “No, Cheryl, it’s alright. My uncle isn’t the worst guy on earth, but there’s not a lot of love lost there.” She draws in a breath, a true smile overtaking her features that warms Cheryl’s insides. “The Serpents are my real family. And they’ve always accepted me for exactly who I am, whoever I love. And properly joining them, when I was younger, let me into that sense of family that I loved and began to value _even more_ after my parents’ deaths.”

“They helped you to be okay with yourself?” Cheryl asks, a little shyly, because it seems like such a tender subject and she wouldn’t want to accidentally set a foot wrong. 

“They did. But you wanna know what helped the most?” Cheryl nods. “Realising that who I am isn’t wrong. It isn’t bad, or sinful… or _‘deviant’_. There may be the odd conservative asshole here and there who thinks otherwise, but their bigoted, outdated ideals don’t define me or my identity.”

Cheryl stares at Toni intently, nodding her head. She finds herself utterly transfixed, clinging onto each and every word that Toni’s speaking - a little pathetically, to be honest. 

“You’re amazing, Toni.”

She means the words, but she hadn’t meant to allow them to leave her lips. In fact, her cheeks burn a little and she curses herself internally for her impulsive proclamation. 

“Yeah?” Toni asks, and upon looking up, Cheryl is met with the sight of her grinning widely, honey brown eyes sparkling. She grips Cheryl’s hand a little tighter and shifts forward to look her in the eye. 

“You know, you’re pretty sensational yourself, Bombshell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments HIGHLY appreciated <3


	17. birthday bash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello guys! sorry i forgot to update on friday; i've almost entirely lost track of what day it is, recently! i hope you're all doing well <3 
> 
> i THINK you'll be happy with what happens in this chapter... ;) enjoy!

“What about that one?”

“Definitely bi.”

“No _way_.”

“You forget that I’ve been playing this game a lot longer than you. Plus I think I’ve slept with her before.”

Cheryl bursts into laughter, the buzz from the alcohol enough to dull the thrum of jealousy that strikes her at Toni’s remark. She glances from Toni to the girl in question who’s currently draped over the lap of one of the guys on the football team, engaging in a rather sloppy exhibition of PDA. “Toni _Topaz_ , you can't remember?” she asks, rolling her eyes exaggeratedly and taking another sip from her red solo cup. 

Eyebrows shooting up, Toni shrugs, adjusting her outstretched legs across Cheryl’s lap. “Are you slut-shaming me, Bombshell?” 

Cheryl feels a flash of panic, body warming, and she shakes her head fervently. “No, of course not, I—”

“Cheryl? That was a joke.”

“Oh.”

Toni laughs, loud and unreserved, leaning forward to squeeze Cheryl’s thigh lightly, taking her by surprise and sending a jolt of electricity through her. “You’re cute, you know.”

Swallowing thickly, Cheryl drops her gaze and stares at the liquid in her cup, doing her best to hide the flush of her cheeks and to keep herself from giving an impulsive, embarrassing response. She has a rather mortifying tendency to become _far_ too honest when she’s drunk. 

“Sorry, did I overstep?” Toni asks, squeezing Cheryl’s thigh again lightly, hand a little lower this time, and even so Cheryl feels a tight tug at the pit of her stomach, almost prompting her to release a quiet whimper. 

She shakes her head quickly, though, not wanting to put an end to this interaction simply because she can’t choke out a response. “No, no, I just…” Forcing aside her nagging doubts, Cheryl allows the corners of her lips to twitch upwards. “So are you, TT.”

“Mhm, really?” Toni brushes her hand against Cheryl’s thigh lightly, prompting her to draw in a sharp shaky breath as she nods her head. 

“Uh huh,” she murmurs, a little breathlessly, forcing her gaze away from Toni’s so as to disguise the effect that the simple touch is having on her. She doesn't understand how Toni can do this to her, draw all of these feelings out from her the second her inhibitions are lowered, after weeks of Cheryl doing her best to keep them locked up and hidden. 

Cheryl turns her head back to meet Toni’s gaze when she feels a little more composed, and in the split second that she catches her eye, Cheryl thinks that she sees a flash of… _something._

A look in her warm brown eyes, of perhaps… desire? 

_Lust?_

It’s gone so quickly that Cheryl begins to doubt herself almost straight away, but she’s also certain about what she saw. 

She’s about to say something, she’s not exactly sure what, but then Toni is sitting up and the weight of her legs on Cheryl’s lap is gone. She smiles expectantly, holding her hand out to Cheryl. 

“It’s stuffy in here. Let’s go outside.”

Cheryl takes it before her inner-Penelope Blossom can object, and she finds the warm feeling in her stomach that she’s becoming so acquainted with as of late, returning. 

She gives Toni’s hand a tight squeeze and allows her to lead the way outside.

Fighting through a crowd of sweaty, densely packed bodies, Cheryl keeps her grip on Toni’s hand tight so as not to lose her in the crowd. Majority of the people she passes she recognises, but she thinks that some of them could be Veronica’s old friends from New York.

As soon as she steps outside she feels much more invigorated, immediately free from the pungent smell of sweat and alcohol, sucking in a breath of fresh air. She drops Toni’s hand in order to brush her hair out of her face and over her shoulders, the cool air sending a wave of goosebumps up her bare shoulders. 

“Parties on the Southside are nothing like this,” Toni says, unceremoniously dropping herself onto the steps that lead up to the Pembrooke. “There’s usually a lot more drugs and a lot less… formal attire. I appreciate the tameness of all this.”

Cheryl chuckles, nodding her head and humming quietly in acknowledgement, lowering herself down to sit beside Toni. 

“I can imagine. But you’re having a good time?” 

She can’t help but notice the soft luminosity that Toni’s skin adapts under the moonlight, warm eyes even warmer than usual, and tan cheeks glowing with gentle radiance. Cheryl realises the feat that it’s going to be to restrain herself from kissing her right now. 

Because, they’re _alone…_ Cheryl’s drunk enough to give less of a damn about consequences and… god, Toni looks so _desirable_ , even more than usual, and it’s driving her crazy. 

“Spending time with you? Always, Bombshell,” Toni quips, giving Cheryl a wink that takes her by surprise. 

The buzz of intoxication is enough to silence any nerves and embarrassment; to the point that she’s mostly able to ignore them, simply giggling tipsily and nodding her head. “The sentiment is reciprocated, I assure you.”

They fall quiet for a while, seeking comfort in the contented silence, both of them intermittently sipping at their drinks. It’s nice, Cheryl thinks, to be able to so easily spend time with someone. 

It’s Toni who breaks the tranquility, leaning towards Cheryl enough so that her pink hair tickles Cheryl’s bare shoulder. “So, I’m curious,” she speaks softly, voice low and raspy, the pleasant timbre sending a shiver down Cheryl’s spine. 

God, Toni’s voice is hot. 

_Toni_ is hot. 

Cheryl nods, running her tongue over Maple Red lips. “Go on.”

“Is Heather the only girl you’ve kissed?”

It’s dark enough outside that the shadows veil the flush of her cheeks, but Cheryl’s breath hitches even so. Her surprise stems from a mixture of being caught off guard at the mention of her first love, and also the leading nature of the question that Toni’s asking. 

She wonders whether that unfamiliar glint of desire that she thought she saw in Toni’s eyes earlier was perhaps _not_ a figment of her imagination. Maybe she wasn’t reaching for things that weren’t there, maybe Toni _wants her too._

The idea makes her tingle in excitement as she gives a relatively reserved nod, a little too obfuscated to speak, still. 

“Interesting,” Toni breathes, and Cheryl can't quite decipher what she means. It doesn’t really matter though, because now she can’t stop staring at Toni’s lips. Soft, pillowy pink lips, that she wants nothing more than to have against her own _right now._

The urge to kiss her is almost overwhelming. 

“W-what about you?” Cheryl asks, gulping, her gaze flickering down to Toni’s lips one more time. Toni catches it between her teeth in response. 

It’s cold outside but Cheryl suddenly feels hot all over. 

“What about me, cutie?” At this point Cheryl decides that Toni _must_ know the effect that her words are having on Cheryl. To further that, it’s only a matter of seconds later that the pink-haired girl settles her hand a little above Cheryl’s knee, squeezing lightly. 

A harmless gesture, but in this state, the touch causes Cheryl to release a shuddering breath, closing her eyes momentarily to regain a semblance of composure. “How many girls have you kissed?” 

“Ah.” Toni pauses, fingers grazing lightly against the bare skin of Cheryl’s leg. “Lots. But I don’t kiss and tell… Not usually, anyhow.”

Toni leans in closer, enough so that Cheryl is able to feel the warmth of her breath against her face. “I have another question,” she rasps softly, hand sliding a little higher on Cheryl’s pale thigh, fingers skirting dangerously close to crossing an invisible line. 

Cheryl is painfully captivated by her, the hand on her thigh not doing anything to lessen the ache in the pit of her stomach. “ _Ask me_ ,” she responds, breath considerably more ragged than it had been a few minutes ago. 

Toni leans in _even further_ , and at this point her lips are ghosting against Cheryl’s ear. Every time she exhales, goosebumps rise on Cheryl’s skin and she has to swallow harshly and close her eyes for a moment in order to retain control over the situation at hand. 

“ _Can I kiss you_?”

The question is a surprise and simultaneously all too expected, both at the same time. Cheryl gasps faintly at Toni’s soft husk of a question, clenching her thighs together tightly. The build up over the evening and this rapidly approaching crescendo has rendered her a yearning mess. 

Turning to look Toni in the eye, Cheryl finds that the urge to touch her is _electric_ . Her eyes are soft, warm, _honey brown_ and Cheryl feels safer than safe staring into her eyes. She wants her hands on Toni’s body, her _lips_ on Toni’s own… or just about anywhere… just _something_. 

She **needs** it. 

“Yes, Toni _please_ , kiss me.”

And so, Toni does. 

She closes the gap between them, capturing Cheryl’s lips _so gently_ with her own. Their lips move languidly together, Cheryl’s being uncertain and Toni’s exuding the confidence she never fails to exert. 

_Fuck… wow…_

Cheryl’s thoughts are a loop of incoherence as Toni deepens the kiss, catching Cheryl’s red pillowy lip between her own, kissing her with such _dizzying_ passion. Toni curls an arm around Cheryl’s shoulder, the other hand cupping her face, and she uses the leverage to pull her impossibly closer, both of them melting into the kiss for a few moments longer. 

It’s Toni who pulls away, eyes fluttering open slowly, and she cups Cheryl’s face gently in her hands, fingers brushing lightly against her cheeks. 

“How was that for your second kiss, Bombshell?”

Wetting her lips, Cheryl forces herself to open her eyes, the sight of Toni’s soft smile and warm eyes greeting her, skin glowing under the soft light of the moon. It all makes her heart pound faster in her chest. Inhaling sharply, Cheryl nods her head, leaning into the touch of Toni’s hand. 

“ _Wow_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally they KISSED


	18. hindsight bias

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi sorry, not been doing so great recently, but i just wanna post the chapters that i have so i might post another one tomorrow 
> 
> i hope you’re all doing well <3

“I think there’s a chance that you were right about Toni. About my… feelings for her.”

Drumming her fingers lightly against the frayed fabric of the green couch, Cheryl purses her lips tightly, averting her gaze from the therapist sitting opposite her. She can feel Carol watching her still, peering over the rim of her thick glasses, and it makes her feel as though she’s being perused beneath a microscope. 

She hadn’t initially  _ planned  _ on coming clean to Carol, but after a lengthy phone conversation with Veronica that almost resulted in Cheryl sharing  _ too much  _ about the happenings of Friday night; Cheryl decided that she needed to tell  _ someone _ . Carol seemed like a safe bet, considering the fact that their sessions are sealed by law and contract. And honestly, aside from Veronica, Josie and Toni  _ herself _ , Cheryl doesn’t have that many other options. 

“You do?” Carol asks, beady eyes squinting in concentration. “What makes you think that?”

Cheryl rolls her eyes, unable to help it, because the question sounds so ridiculously clinical. “Well, she kissed me last night.” Cheryl pauses, corners of her lips twitching upwards slightly and she allows herself to release an excited breath, “And I liked it.”

Carol’s eyebrows raise in surprise. “Oh!” She blinks rapidly for a moment or so, before she nods and clears her throat lightly. “Okay. Was that your first kiss, Cheryl?”

Frowning a little, Cheryl shakes her head. “No,” she responds, lips falling into a tight line at the immediate memories that hit her like a full speed train.

“Was your first kiss also with a girl?” Carol asks, and Cheryl’s attention is drawn to the pen in her hand, poised above the open page in her little A5 notebook, undoubtedly ready to note down whatever response she receives.

For some reason Cheryl finds that very discouraging. 

She’s not sure that she wants to discuss Heather, not now. She was in a relatively positive mood before her arrival, and the topic of Heather will not only perhaps bring her to tears, but it will also without fail, arise conversation about Penelope Blossom. And, well, her name never fails to bring a bitter taste to Cheryl’s mouth. 

“No,” she lies. “It was with Archie Andrews.”

It’s not  _ entirely  _ untrue. Her first kiss had almost been with Archie, in third grade, amidst a stupid playground game of  _ Kiss Chase _ . Until middle school, Cheryl and Jason never really used to engage with the other kids in their class - perhaps that’s where the unsavoury rumours involving their relationship originally sprung from - but this particular lunch hour Cheryl had found herself roped into playing the game. The ‘chase’ part of the game was relatively harmless, until it came to the ‘kiss’ and Archie Andrews had his grubby little eight year old hands on her face, preparing to kiss her. 

She’d shoved him hard and run away, oblivious, then, to the fact that there was more than one reason why she didn’t want to kiss  _ him _ . 

“I see,” Carol pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose, looking at Cheryl with something that may be interpreted as disbelief, but Cheryl ignores it. “Now, after you kissed Toni-”

“Uh,  _ she _ kissed  _ me _ .”

Carol stares at her for a moment before sighing deeply and nodding. “Okay, right. After Toni kissed you, did you talk about it? The two of you?”

Cheryl swallows, trying to drag up the memories from that night, after the kiss. It’s all a little blurry, considering her state of inebriation at the time, and she thinks they were a little too beside themselves under the influence to conduct a coherent conversation. 

However she vaguely remembers Reggie stumbling outside a short time after and telling them to ‘ _ come quick _ ’ and play beer pong, so maybe they didn’t get a chance to talk at all. 

“No,” Cheryl responds, shaking her head slowly. “No, I don’t think we did. But we were both relatively intoxicated, so I don’t remember too well.”

“Ah. And have you spoken to her since the party?”

Once more, Cheryl shakes her head. She’s quickly finding that the elation she had previously been floating on is slowly fizzling out; the dull thrum of remaining happiness threatening to die down to no more than a whisper. “She’s usually busy on the weekend. I haven’t wanted to bother her.”

“Right.” An unsettling silence follows, during which Cheryl stares at her knees, able to hear the scratching of Carol’s pen against her paper. “And the both of you were under the influence of alcohol?”

“Yes we were  _ drunk _ .” 

There’s a silence that consists of Carol clicking her pen a few times, face fixed in an expression of deep thought. Just as Cheryl is about to make a swift change of subject, she sets down her pen and notepad, sitting forward in her seat. “Cheryl… I don’t want to upset you with this, but in order to prevent any potential discouragement, I’d like us to discuss how you would feel in the case that your feelings for Toni weren’t reciprocated. I think we should talk about some possible coping strategies for that outcome.”

At her words, Cheryl’s head snaps up. She stares at Carol for a moment or two, jaw tight in disbelief, but then…  _ what if she’s right? _ Had Cheryl  _ really  _ seen any noticeable signs before Friday night to indicate that Toni’s interested in her? Sure, she can’t get the Southside Serpent out of her head, but is the sentiment reciprocated, or was it a rash, vodka-fuelled decision? Were the feelings a one time, heat of the moment occurrence?

“I only ask, Cheryl, because I wouldn’t want you to wind up disheartened, I can tell that you seem to really care about Toni…”

Panic suddenly rising in her chest, Cheryl takes a shuddering breath in and looks to the clock desperately. The room suddenly feels a lot smaller and hotter and—  _ fuck _ , she needs to get out of here. Running away seems to be something she’s good at. 

To her  _ relief _ , the session seems to have run two minutes over already, giving her the go ahead to grab her bag and spring to her feet. Doing her best to contain her panic in order to make a smooth escape, she purses her lips tightly and takes an ambitious stride in the direction of the door. 

“Time’s up.”

“Cheryl, w—”

The door slams shut before Carol has the chance to finish her sentence. 

Cheryl wonders if they’ll ever have a session again that doesn’t conclude with her storming out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hands up if you’ve had a bit of an asshole therapist before :)


	19. let the battle commence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m back as promised :)

Cheryl Blossom is many things, but a coward is  _ not _ one of them. 

Selfish? Perhaps. Arrogant? Yes, in a way. Beautiful?  _ Definitely… _ but cowardly? No. And she doesn’t want to give anyone a reason to think so (especially not Toni) and so here she is:

Sitting at the foot of the steps outside school, leg bouncing anxiously as she awaits the arrival of the entourage of leather-clad bikers who should roll up in the parking lot in approximately six minutes if everything is on schedule… and she’s  _ terrified _ . Terrified that after Saturday night’s “fiasco”, Toni will rock up at school and tell her that the kiss was all one big, alcohol-fuelled mistake — just as Carol had suggested. 

_ I’d like us to discuss how you would feel in the case that your feelings for Toni weren’t reciprocated. _

Cheryl knew that Carol had been skirting around asking her if it was a mistake, beating around the bush. Asking if,  _ maybe _ , Toni didn’t feel the same way. She was attempting to be wary of Cheryl’s feelings, and in the long run likely made things worse, in the form of Cheryl’s excessive overthinking and dissection of an evening that was supposed to be  _ fun _ .

Because after spending the weekend floating on the cloud of euphoria enkindled by the kiss… Cheryl’s not sure that she could handle a shattering reveal like the one Carol had suggested. But either way, she’s here and ready to bear the brunt of whatever news Toni may bring her—

“Cheryl!”

At the sound of her name, Cheryl lifts her head, tearing her gaze away from the congregation of ants trailing across the concrete that had captured her attention for several moments. To her surprise and  _ immense relief _ her eyes settle first upon a large lumbering Serpent whom she recognised to be  _ Sweet Pea _ , and then, her very own Toni Topaz, ambling towards her with a grin on her face, hand lifted in a cordial wave. 

God, Cheryl has never been so thankful to see so many of those Southside Serpent emblems before in her life. 

“Toni. You’re early,” she greets simply, rising to her feet with a smile that almost matches Toni’s. She can feel her jaw aching a little from the exertion, and wonders how Toni manages to be so effortlessly positive and jovial ninety percent of the time. 

“Lying in wait for me, Bombshell?” The reply is teasing, and yet Cheryl can’t help the soft red flush that instantly stains her cheeks. 

Swallowing firmly and pressing her lips together in a slightly flustered smile, Cheryl gets to her feet. “Waiting for you? Yes. I believe we’re due a dilatory discussion.”

Toni’s eyebrows raise in realisation, and she gives a slow nod, sucking a breath of air through her teeth. “That we are.” She glances up towards the school, and suddenly a mischievous smile is tugging at her lips, prompting unease to rise in Cheryl’s stomach. “Skip first period with me? We can take a walk on the sports field.”

Cheryl’s eyes widen almost comically. “Oh… Toni, I don’t know, I—”

“Never skipped a class before, Cher?” Toni chuckles, running a hand through her tangled pink hair as she scoffs lightly. It’s not malicious, but Cheryl scowls lightly even so. 

“Of course I have.” 

Staring at her for a few moments, Toni laughs once more, chest rising noticeably as she does and drawing Cheryl’s attention to the minimal coverage of her cleavage.  _ Wow _ . Blood rushes to her cheeks, and Cheryl curses her pale complexion as she forces her eyes back up to meet Toni’s. 

“Mhm.” Toni’s lips are curled up into a knowing smirk that does nothing to lessen Cheryl’s borderline embarrassment and discomfort. Cheryl half expects her to wink, a gesture that would truly push her over the edge. “I mean it’s fine if you’d rather spend the morning completing the square with Mr Philips.”

Narrowing her eyes a little, Cheryl shakes her head. She knows Toni’s taunting her, and she won’t stand for it, not even the light-hearted kind. She is Cheryl  _ Blossom _ . She doesn’t yield to anyone. 

“Fine, I’ll… skip  _ one  _ class with you. It’s a boring one anyway.” 

That’s not true, Cheryl loves algebra, but that information doesn’t seem appropriate to divulge to Toni at this moment in time - it may shatter the “careless rebellion” vibe that she’s aiming for. 

“Good choice, Bombshell,” Toni winks, and Cheryl feels that familiar flip of her stomach, at the action. 

Scraping her teeth over her bottom lip, Cheryl glances around them, glad to see the majority of the student body are already inside the building, and no one seems to be paying them much attention. She looks to Toni and nods in the direction of the sports field. “Shall we?”

“We shall.”

Cheryl rolls her eyes, but honestly she’s barely containing a smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter is coming incredibly soon, i suppose i’m creatively charged. hang tight.


	20. a presage of your love

The silence isn’t awkward, but it’s not quite comfortable either. 

Cheryl doesn’t want to be the one to broach the topic of Saturday night, she doesn’t even know where to begin, but she’s not sure that she can stand another second of the tedious non-communication. It’s so odd, so  _ wrong  _ for things to feel so gauche with Toni, and she wants to put a stop to this as soon as possible. And so, she makes her second  _ uncowardly _ decision of the day, and clears her throat to begin the conversation. 

However just as she does, Toni seemingly makes a similar decision and chimes in with an introductory, “Cheryl—”

Both girls exchange a sheepish look, and Cheryl chuckles quietly while Toni grins, bordering on bashfully, and scuffs her foot against the ground, gradually slowing to a halt as they reach the bleachers. Her demeanour doesn’t scream confidence as it usually does, and for the most part she’s avoiding Cheryl’s gaze. 

“Go ahead,” Toni says, lowering herself unceremoniously onto the bottom bench.

Wetting her lips, Cheryl shakes her head and takes a more graceful seat beside her. “No, it’s okay, you go.”

In lieu of further indecision, Toni nods, sucking a sharp breath of air through her teeth. She looks pensive, a little anxious (which is  _ so  _ out of character for Toni, who Cheryl’s never seem to be anything but at ease), however she doesn’t look as though she’s about to break bad news, and Cheryl takes that as a good sign. A  _ very  _ good sign. 

“Alright.” There’s a pause long enough that Cheryl begins to wonder if that was Toni’s only input, but then she continues, a shaky smile finding its way onto her lips. “So, uh, Saturday night—” Toni begins, but then cuts herself off, pursing her lips and shaking her head a few times. 

“This feels weird,” she says, swallowing harshly and looking to Cheryl. “Just… weird, you know? Because I’m fucking nervous right now, which is ridiculous because everything between us has been so easy, up to this point… it just feels weird that we’re doing all this formal conversating crap. It’s you and me, for god’s sake.”

_ It’s you and me, for god’s sake.  _

Cheryl cracks a smile, Toni’s admission of her nerves alleviating a lot of Cheryl’s own. She nods her head eagerly, and folds her hands neatly in her lap, ignoring the rapid palpitations of her heart because she  _ knows _ that’s not the nerves. “I agree. It’s us, and I’m so at ease around you, TT, there’s no need for this discussion to be weird.”

“Okay,” Toni looks relieved, offering her own smile in return, warm brown eyes roaming over Cheryl’s face for a moment or two before she’s reaching out and placing her hand atop of Cheryl’s, cheeks warming. 

Cheryl takes a steadying breath to keep herself calm. 

“In that case… I really fucking enjoyed Saturday night. A lot. All of it.”

Eyes widening and stomach clenching in excitement, Cheryl takes a second to scan Toni’s features for any signs of mocking or dishonesty, neither of which she finds. “ _ All _ of it?” she asks, her voice a little shaky. “Even…”

“The kiss?” Toni asks, lips curling upwards at Cheryl’s nod, warm honey eyes sparkling knowingly. “God, Cheryl,  _ yes _ . Especially the kiss.”

The butterflies in Cheryl’s stomach begin to feel more like large birds, and she can’t suppress the rapidly widening grin taking over her features. “Me too,” is all she can muster, but she knows that her expression reveals a lot more than her words do. 

Toni seems to relax even further at the confession, eyes softening as she looks over Cheryl. “That’s good. I’ve been thinking about it all weekend, I just didn’t want to make you feel weird or pressured by asking you about it, in case it was a drunken mistake. I thought I should wait to speak to you in person.” 

Cracking a small smile, Cheryl nods her head. “Yeah. I thought that too,” she says, her mind flickering back to her therapy session, and Carol’s words which… still reside as a seed of doubt in her mind. “But what does this mean for us?”

Smiling softly, Toni doesn’t hesitate on squeezing her hand once before interlacing their fingers. “Whatever you want it to mean, Cheryl.”

_ Oh _ . 

“I know that you’ve never been in a relationship before, and this is all unchartered territory for you,” Toni continues, voice just as soft and tugging at something inside of Cheryl, “So I want the decisions to be yours, because whatever you want  _ this  _ to mean, I’m fine with.”

Cheryl swallows harshly, the smile on her lips turning a little shy as she brushes her fingers over the back of Toni’s hand. “I… I don’t know, Toni. I’ve only felt this way about someone once before, and my mother ripped it away from me before it could blossom into anything real… Pun not intended.” 

Toni chuckles lightly as she stares at her, lips curling into a sad smile. Carefully, she brings her free hand up to brush a little hair away from Cheryl’s face, fingers gentle against her face. “So this is kind of scary, right?” she says, understandingly, her eyes as warm and soft as ever. 

Wetting her lips, Cheryl nods. 

“Well, I’m not going to rush you or push you into any situations that you’re uncomfortable with. We can take things as slowly as you want to, entirely at your pace.” Lightly calloused fingers stroke at her cheekbone. “So you don’t have to be scared, okay?” 

Focusing on the feel of Toni’s hand in her own and fingers against her skin, Cheryl nods, feeling comforted. She knows Toni’s right, there’s nothing to be scared of. 

“So we can just take things slow?” 

Toni nods too, smile broadening. “We can definitely do that, Bombshell,” she agrees, and Cheryl’s instantly aware of Toni leaning a little closer, grip tightening on her hand. “No pressure, okay?”

Cheryl holds her breath, able to feel the warmth of Toni’s exhale against her skin as she gets closer. “No pressure,” she echoes, voice more of a husk and barely audible. 

Inching a little closer, Toni winds a lock of Cheryl’s copper red hair around her finger, and  _ just  _ as Cheryl thinks their lips are about to touch, Toni surges forward and pecks her lightly on the cheek, lips impossibly soft against her skin. Her cheek burns beneath the touch and she gives Toni a shy smile as the girl pulls away. 

“Come on, the bell’s about to ring. Let me walk you to second?”

Cheryl agrees, the butterflies in her stomach back as Toni’s fingers tighten around her own, tugging her up off the bench and across the field, grip not loosening until they reach the school building. 


End file.
